[TxsChef]

Poached Skull n’ Crossbones

4 bananas
1 can pear halves — drained
1 handful raisins
strawberry or raspberry fruit sauce -or “all fruit” preserves

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Cut bananas in half lengthwise and place 2 halves, or bones, crisscrossed in X shapes in a baking dish or on a cookie sheet.

Place your pear-half skulls on top of the banana X’s, curved side up. With a blunt knife, make 2 small slits in the pears for the eyes. Insert a raisin in each slit.

Bake for 10 to 15 minutes.

Remove from the oven and carefully transfer to individual serving plates. Drip some
fruit sauce blood around your creepy crossbones.

Serves 4.

[TxsChef]

Black Death Cake

1 pound butter, softened
3 cups sugar
6 eggs
3 1/2 cups flour
1 cup cocoa
1 cup plain nonfat yogurt
2 teaspoons vanilla
2 teaspoons baking powder

[TxsChef]

Boogers-On-A-Stick

1 (8 ounce) jar processed cheese spread (such as Cheez Whiz)
Green food coloring
25-30 pretzel sticks

With an adult’s help, melt the processed cheese spread in the microwave oven or on top of the stove, according to directions on the jar.
Allow the cheese to cool slightly in the jar.
Using a long handled spoon, carefully stir about three drops of green food coloring into the warm cheese, using just enough to turn the cheese a delicate “snot” green.
To form “boogers:” Dip and twist the tip of each pretzel stick into the cheese, lift out, wait twenty seconds, then dip again.
When cheese lumps reach an appealingly boogerish size, set pretzels booger-down onto a sheet of waxed paper.
If the cheese in the jar begins to stiffen, simply reheat it.
Allow finished boogers-on-stickes to cool at room temperature for ten minutes, or until cheese is firm.
Gently pull boogers off waced paper and arrange on a serving platter.

Serves: 5 to 6

[TxsChef]

Coyote Droppings

2 cups brown sugar
1 cup margarine
1/2 cup white corn syrup
1/2 tsp. baking soda
14 1/2 ounce package Cheetos

Bring sugar, margarine and syrup to a boil for 5 minutes. Remove from fire. Add baking soda. Stir.

Pour over Cheetos in large bowl.

Quickly toss and spread on 10×15 pan, sprayed with PAM.

Bake at 250 degrees F. for 1 hour, stirring every 15 minutes. Pour out on waxed paper sprayed with PAM.

Quickly separate Cheeto pieces.

[TxsChef]

Pull-Apart Brains

1 package frozen Parker-House rolls (2 dozen)
1 small box butterscotch pudding mix
1/2 C. brown sugar
1/2 C. melted margarine
3/4 C. pecans
Candied cherries to decorate

Grease a bundt pan. Place pecans and cherries in the bottom of the pan. Place frozen rolls over the the pecans (do NOT defrost). Sprinkle the pudding mix over then rolls, then sprinkle on the brown sugar. Drizzle the melted margarine over the whole thing. Cover with waxed paper and a towel. Let stand
overnight, or at least 8 hours.

[TxsChef]

Blackberry Blackheads

1/2 pound Butter — at room temperature
1 tablespoon Butter — at room temperature
2/3 cup Sugar
2 Egg whites
4 cups Flour
Blackberry jam — with seeds

Preheat oven to 325F.

Beat 1/2 pound butter until creamy., Add sugar, a little at a time, until all the sugar has been used.

Add the egg whites and flour to the butter and sugar. Beat until the dough is well blended.

Dip a pastry brush into the tablespoon of butter and lightly brush a very thin layer onto the cookie sheet.

With clean hands, roll the dough into golf ball sized balls. Flatten the balls slightly, and using your thumb, press a dime size dent into the middle of each one. Place cookies, dent size up, about 1″ apart on cookie sheet.

Bake about 12 minutes or until slightly browned. Allow the cookies to cool on the cookie sheet for a few minutes before moving them to a wire rack with a spatula.

When the cookies are completely cooled, use a small spoon to fill the dent in each one with jam.

Makes about 3 1/2 dozen blackheads.

From the Book: Gross Grub by Cheryl Porter

[TxsChef]

Exploding Potatoes

3 large baking potatoes
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons half and half
food coloring
salt
white pepper
1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
2 eggs, separated
snipped chives

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Scrub the potatoes well and prick thoroughly. Arrange the potatoes on a baking sheet and bake for 1 hour, or until the potatoes are tender. Slice each potato in half lengthwise. Carefully scoop out the potato flesh, leaving sturdy shells behind. Replace the shells on the baking sheet and bake for 15 minutes, or until crisp and golden brown.

Meanwhile, press the potato flesh through a ricer or mash. Beat the potatoes with the butter, half and half, salt, white pepper, nutmeg, and egg yolks until smooth. In a clean bowl with clean beaters whip the egg whites until stiff. Gently fold the egg whites into the potato mixture. Spoon the potato mixture back into the potato shells. Bake for 10-15 minutes until the potato mixture rises and turns a lovely golden brown color. Sprinkle the potatoes with the snipped chives and serve hot.

[TxsChef]

Corpseloaf

1 1/2 pounds ground beef
1 egg — beaten
1 cup bread crumbs
1 teaspoon ketchup
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 cup minced onion
1 26 ounce spaghetti sauce
2 black or green olives
corn kernels
pimientos

Preheat oven to 350F degrees. Combine ground beef, egg, bread crumbs, ketchup, salt, garlic powder, pepper, and minced onion. Form into the shape of a body and place in a baking dish. Place two olives on the head for eyes. Use corn for teeth and a strip of pimento for the mouth. Pour the spaghetti sauce around the body. Bake for 1 hour 15 minutes.

[TxsChef]

Freddie Krueger’s Casserole

1 pkg. flour tortillas, torn into wedges

1 lb. hamburger meat, browned & drained

1 med. can Ranch-style beans (or plain pinto beans)

1 med. onion, chopped

2 cups shredded cheese (Longhorn, Colby, or combined w/Monterrey Jack)

1 can Rotel diced tomatoes w/peppers (mild or hot, as you prefer)

1 can mushroom soup

Spray 2 qt. casserole dish with Pam. Line with torn up tortillas. Then layer, in this order: half of meat, beans, onion, cheese. Repeat layers, beginning with tortillas.

In a separate bowl, mix Rotel & mushroom soup. Pour over the layers in casserole. This will look repulsive, thus the name. You may want to add some grated cheese on top, just to make it look better. Do not stir. Bake 45 minutes to 1 hour at 350′ covered. Should be bubbly and hot through & through.

[TxsChef]

Maggot Stew

2 T. vegetable oil
1/4 C. flour
1/2 t. salt
1/2 t. pepper
1/4 t. garlic powder
1 lb. stew beef cut in 1″ chunks
2 cans (14.5 oz.) plain stewed tomatoes
1 can (10.5 oz.) beef broth
1 t. thyme
1 Bay leaf
3 medium to 4 carrots
1 C. fresh or frozen green beans
3/4 C. orzo pasta

Place oil in stew pot and with an adult’s help, turn heat to medium low. Measure flour, salt, pepper and garlic powder into ziploc bag. Drop in stew beef, seal bag and shake until well coated. Pour contents of bag into the stew pot. Turn the heat up to med

Use a long handles spoon to turn the meat every 3-4 minutes, letting the meat brown well on all sides. Cook until the meat begins to look crusty. Add the tomatoes, broth, thyme and bay leaf. Bring to a boil, then lower heat to low.

Peel the carrots and cut them into small coins with a knife. When the stew has simmered for one hour, add the carrots and green beans to the pot. Cover and simmer another 45 minutes.

Cook the orzo in a saucepan according to the package directions. when just tender, drain it through a colander into the sink, shaking out any excess water. These are your maggots. Add them to the stew pot, then turn off heat and care

Serving suggestion: Turn any meaty meal into a freakish feast by spreading a layer of orzo maggots on top of your roasted, baked or boiled beast!

[TxsChef]

Kitty’s Hairball Surprise

1 lg Spaghetti Squash
1 pint Ricotta Cheese
2 cups shredded mozzarella
1 cup grated parmesan (grated)
1 cup prepared tomato sauce (ragu or your favorite)
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/4 cup vodka

Prepare squash by cutting it in half, placing the halves in a large baking dish with 1/2 cup of water, covering with foil, and baking ain a 350 degree oven for 1 hour. Let cool and scoop the middle out of the shell.

In a small saucepan, combine the tomato sauce, cream and vodka over moderate heat. Cook until boiling, and simmer for 15 min, stirring occasionally.

Combine squash, sauce, and cheeses in large casserole dish, incorporating well. Salt and pepper to taste, add some crushed red pepper flakes if you enjoy spicy food.

Bake in a 350 degree oven for 30 minutes.

[TxsChef]

Melted Torsos and Legs

5 pounds frozen chicken wings
3/4 cup apricot preserves
6 tablespoons teriyaki sauce
1 1/2 tablespoons dark brown sugar
2 teaspoons cornstarch
1 1/2 tablespoon rice vinegar

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees and lightly grease a baking sheet or jelly roll pan with at least 3/4 inch high sides. Spread the chicken wings out on the sheet (or sheets if needed) so that they are lying in a single layer. Bake the chicken for 20 minutes. While the chicken is baking, mix together the sauce. In a small pan melt the apricot preserves. Remove from the heat and add the remaining ingredients. Mix together until smooth.

Liberally brush a quarter of the sauce over the chicken wings, flip them over and brush with another quarter of the sauce. Return to the oven and bake for an additional 15 minutes. Remove from the oven, brushboth sides with the remaining sauce, and return to the oven. Bake for 10-15 minutes, or until the chicken wings are thoroughly cooked. Let cool before serving to prevent burned fingers.

[TxsChef]

Snakes In The Grass

1/3 cup thick and chunky salsa
6 (7 1/2-inch) breadsticks, sliced in half lengthwise

Chopped black olives
Cream cheese, softened
Sliced red bell pepper or pimiento
Sliced stuffed green olives
Shredded lettuce

Combine sour cream and salsa in small bowl. Spread cut-sides of each breadstick with 1 1/2 tablespoons sour cream mixture. Place 4 strips cheese onto bottom half of each breadstick; cover with top half.

To decorate each snake sandwich, attach 2 pieces chopped black olive to one end of top of sandwich with dot of cream cheese for eyes. Cut a piece of red pepper into tongue shape; place it between breadstick halves for a tongue. Attach slices of green olives to the top of sandwich with dot of cream cheese for snake skin design.

Place shredded lettuce onto platter. Set snake sandwiches onto lettuce.

Yield: 6 sandwiches

[TxsChef]

Roast Chicken with Vampire Proof Garlic Garland

3 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 teaspoons dried thyme
1 teaspoon fresh rosemary leaves or crumbled dried rosemary
1 teaspoon chopped fresh sage leaves or dried rubbed sage
About 1/2 teaspoon pepper
2 chickens (about 4 lb. each)
8 heads garlic (each 2 in. wide)
Rosemary sprigs, rinsed
Salt

1. In a small bowl, mix 2 tablespoons olive oil, lemon juice, thyme, rosemary leaves, sage, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper.

2. Rinse chickens and pat dry. Pull off and discard lumps of fat. Rub olive oil mixture all over chickens and set birds breast up and at least 1 inch apart on a rack in a 12- by 17-inch roasting pan. Rub remaining 1 tablespoon olive oil all over garlic. Place garlic heads on rack beside chickens.

4. Put chickens on a large platter, surround with garlic heads, and garnish with rosemary sprigs. Keeping chickens warm, let rest 5 to 10 minutes.

5. Carve chickens. Separate garlic cloves and squeeze garlic from peels to eat with chicken. Add salt and pepper to taste.

SERVES 8

[TxsChef]

Chunky Cat Barf

1 lg Spaghetti Squash
8 oz Cottage Cheese
16 oz Mozzarella (grated)
8 oz Parmesan (grated)
1 qt Spaghetti sauce
1/2 green pepper, chopped

Cook squash. Fork out insides into a giant casserole dish. Add cottage cheese, spaghetti sauce, peppers, and half of the mozzarella and parmesan cheeses. Mix until it looks like cat barf. Top with the remaining cheeses. Bake at 350 degrees F. for about 45 minutes.

[Author]

Posts