Home Forums Fun & Games Read and add funny stories. Only a Southerner…(Hey, I Fit Right In…)

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 24 total)
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  • #6135
    nana
    Member

    Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit , and that you don’t “HAVE” them, you “PITCH” them.

    Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up “a mess.”

    Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of “yonder.”

    Only a Southerner knows exactly how long “directly” is, … as in: “Going to town, be back directly.”

    Even Southern babies know that “Gimme some sugar” is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

    All Southerners know exactly when “by and by” is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

    Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

    Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between “right near” and “a right far piece.” They also know that “just down the road” can be 1 mile or 20.

    Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol’ boy, and po’ white trash.

    No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

    A Southerner knows that “fixin” can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

    Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, … and when we’re “in line,” … we talk to everybody!

    Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they’re related, even if only by marriage.

    In the South, y’all is singular, … all y’all is plural.

    Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

    Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

    When you hear someone say, “Well, I caught myself lookin’,” you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

    Only true Southerners say “sweet tea” and “sweet milk.” Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it — we do not like our tea unsweetened. “Sweet milk” means you don’t want buttermilk.

    And a true Southerner knows you don’t scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say ,”Bless her heart” … and go your own way.

    To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!

    And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, … bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin’ to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

    And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y’all need a sign to hang on y’alls front porch that reads “I ain’t from the South, but I got here as fast as I could.”

    #22407
    Christi
    Participant

    :salute: That’s great Nana!!!!

    #22409
    nana
    Member

    Thank you…when I was down south they told me I fit right in…I guess this just helps prove it. ๐Ÿ˜‰ …I one day will do as said in the last one…got there as fast as I could…to stay this time!

    #22418
    Christi
    Participant

    We’re waiting for you!!! :nana:

    #22421
    Peggy
    Member

    Nanner….COME ON DOWN!

    #22432
    nana
    Member

    …I’m already there in my dreams… ๐Ÿ˜‰

    #22454
    quailrun4
    Member

    Been there, done that. Was born in Tennessee

    #22464
    Christi
    Participant

    Hey quailrun! Nice you joined us…. :wave:

    #22465
    Peggy
    Member

    Hi ya Quailrun! Very glad to see you here! ๐Ÿ˜€

    #22469
    hunnyandme
    Member

    Hey, Nana!!!
    I, too, know what it’s like to be a “southerner” – I grew up in Virginia (still considered to the the “south”), and I remember my mom saying how could I be a “Southern Belle”, and NOT like grits?!!! And moving up and down the Eastern seaboard, I am forever being teased about the way I talk and the phrases I use!!!
    BTW – A big welcome to “Quailrun”!!!! You’ll get a big kick out of our family!!! Hope you have lots of fun!!!
    HUGZZZZZZZZZZ to all!!! :nana:

    #22475
    nana
    Member

    Hunny…I had to teach my mom (lived in Ohio) what grits were after I had lived in the south (AL, TN & FL)…then she liked ’em.

    I was born in Cincinnati…aaaaaaaaa that’s just a stone’s throw from the real south…& it is the “southern” part of Ohio ๐Ÿ™„ ๐Ÿ˜‰ I can remember bein’ knee-high to a grasshopper and bein’ teased about my so-called “southern” accent.

    …Hey, Welcome quailrun4…join in anytime ya want…we are mainly just good ol’ boys and gals (…with a few years on us)…I really didn’t say that…hear… ๐Ÿ˜ณ ๐Ÿ™„ ๐Ÿ˜‰

    #22484
    quailrun4
    Member

    Hi to uall! Thanks for the greetings ๐Ÿ˜† When I first came to Ca from Memphis, I worked in an office as a secretary with all natives! Did I have a time learning the correct pronunciation of San Jose & El Cajon among others!

    #22492
    Norm
    Member

    Welcome Quailrun I know you will enjoy this site. Yea Hunny Virginia is still in the south, I can relate to everything on this list. What part of VA did you live in. I don’t care for Grits either and I know a lot of people here who don’t like them either.

    #22530
    hunnyandme
    Member

    Hi Norm!!!
    Actually, I was born in San Diego, CA, then did a bit of traveling with my dad who was in the Navy. He retired while we were living in Arlington, but we settled down in Alexandria, which is where I call “home”. Did you ever see the movie “Remember The Titans” with Danzel Washington (about the high school football team during the beginning of the integration of schools)? Well, that was my high school – T.C. Williams HS of Alexandria, VA. (Class of ’77!!!).
    And, I’m glad that I’m not the only “southerner” who doesn’t like grits!!! LOLLLL!!!! Take care, and have a great weekend!!!
    HUGZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!! :nana:

    #22591
    Norm
    Member

    We went out to a breakfast buffet this morning and my wife talked me in trying grits again, well its been a long time since I had them and I thought, they can’t be that bad so I tried them again, well I was wrong they are still nasty.(yuck) had to eat a piece of country ham to get the taste out of my mouth, well that was a good excuse to eat the ham. ๐Ÿ™„

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