Home Forums Fun & Games Funny Food Poems Keys To the Cuisinart-Funny Cooking Poem

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    Keys To the Cuisinart
    by Pam Young

    I saw a chef on television
    Make a dish called Wiener Schnitzel
    And what he had to tell us
    Was a time consuming ritual

    Most of the work he’d done before
    He ever got on the air
    For he pulled out a tray of pork loins
    So thin they would almost tear

    He told us they come one inch thick
    And he’d pounded them down to a quarter
    We never got to see him clobber
    The loins to make them shorter

    I went out and bought the boneless chops
    And yes they were one inch thick
    By the time I pounded one of them
    The violence made me sick

    It also took me seven minutes
    To make it a quarter inch
    And I had five more loins to pound
    I was really in a pinch

    I put the loins in zip lock bags
    I didn’t have to go very far
    For I lay them down in the drive-way
    And backed over them with the car

    To my delight, the meat smashed down
    In the time it takes to sneeze
    And from that day on I’ve used my car
    As a prep-chef if you please

    For in a craze of creativity
    I thought of other foods
    My sturdy Michelin tires
    Could turn into processed goods

    Graham crackers smash up nicely
    Into crumbs for chocolate pies
    Nuts can be chopped when needed
    And tough meats can be tenderized

    The bottom line is simple
    And I’ve taken it to heart
    God bless my little SUV
    It’s replaced my Cusinart

    SENt to us by Johnny, thanks! Never thought of using the car, but it just might do the trick1 😆


    😆 😆

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